Between the floorboards on the ground and the white
washed ceiling above
"Unlock your heart to what it deserves",
they whisper in her ear.
She shakes her head and sobs silently
She shakes her head no but thinks she understands.
"No one will love a stupid girl. No one will
love an ugly girl," they whisper in her ear.
So she tried.
Despite dark colors forming a ring round bloodshot
eyes
Silently she would tell her:
"Unlock your heart to what it deserves",
her eyes would tell her.
She saved... me.
Between the floorboards on the ground and the white
washed ceiling above
A door stands undisturbed between two boards,
creating a complete wall
A shelter of protection from the universe
breathing... waiting... knocking upon the door
The stars coruscate as the moon rises to its supreme
position in the night sky
Forcing the sun to gracefully bow down from its post
in the heavens
That door is the border line between existence and
oblivion
The punch of reality and the soft whisper of
delusion
Screams are suppressed and laughter is just a hollow
echo
The devil is able to claw his way across the flesh
Yet no indication of his actions can be detected
Angels are locked outside to sit and wait to hear
for the click of a key
The turn of a lock
And to wonder if the face they see to peer out that
doorway
To be one of hope, or one of dismay
No one will know and no one will see
What is poisoning the souls of the innocent
What is slowly eating away the purity of the good
What is putting out the light from the candle wick
Unless one lifts the veil of shadows
To reveal the scintillate sunlight
Darling, you will only continue to cry out of choice
No one has coerced you to turn the key to lock the
door
Only three things knock upon the beating and fragile
door encased between your ribs
Love, mercy, and grace
"Unlock your heart to what it deserves",
they whisper in her ear.
She shakes her head and sobs silently
She continues to listen to the magazines and the
bill boards and her father
"Take this measuring tape and be sure to take
extra care," they shriek.
"Be sure to check not once but twice
Are your thighs suitable for only size 0?
Can you see the pattern of your rib cage pressed up
against your flesh?
Is your collar bone broad enough to hold the poison
we give you to drink?"
She shakes her head no but thinks she understands.
"No one will love a stupid girl. No one will
love an ugly girl," they whisper in her ear.
So she tried.
She really did.
She took the razor and carved every sin onto her
skin.
She was sure to fashion a mark every time she ate to
remind herself to withhold
Every time her face blinked back from the reflection
of the silver mirror
She was sure to scream and to pound her fists into
her temple
When she lay in bed at night, and no one cared to
kiss away the tears
She was sure to wrap her fingers around the curve of
her neck
She refused to let go until the darkness began to
cloud her vision
And she was sure that death was within her grasp
And as the golden rays of the sun lay across closed
eyelids in the dawn
She was sure to study and to hide the red marks that
decorated her neck like holiday lights
Despite dark colors forming a ring round bloodshot
eyes
Mother believed it was just a phase
Father thought his little girl had transformed into
a monster
Yet no questions were inquired
Only judgment was ensued
When all hope seemed to have exuded down her arms in
drops of blood
And the beast had encouraged her time and time again
to etch disfigurements onto her hips
One angel could not bear the pain behind that door
no more
She broke down the door and threw away the key
She let her cry and scream and confide
She would not let her lock herself away again
Silently she would tell her:
That only three things knocked upon the beating and
fragile door encased between her ribs
Love, mercy, and grace
"Unlock your heart to what it deserves",
her eyes would tell her.
She saved her.
She saved... me.
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