Sometimes I look up at the sky and wonder about what
lies ahead of me. I think about the world and the people that live in it. I
think of how people fight to be independent of society and each other when,
realistically, they were already born as individuals- not cloned robots. I
think of how every little occurrence can later become a conspiracy or a regret
or a simple memory. I think of the past and what I did and look into the future
with a faint heart and a conscience that is telling me that nothing is as it
should be.
My parents told me that when I first came into the
world, all I did was smile. I did not cry and I did not try to fight the world.
I took it all in- the doctors, the bright lights, the room, and my parents. If
I had been a boy my name would have been Benjamin, but God decided to make me a
girl that would one day question the reason behind her existence. Born into a
Christian home with Christian values can make any child inwardly rebellious and
angry at the world when it tries to shape and mold her into someone she does
not want to be.
In middle school, we were assigned an art project
that involved researching the meaning behind our names. My friends were
christened as a “pretty flower” or “beloved” or even a “princess”. According to
the dictionary, I was “son of Kenneth; prince”. Of all people, why did my name
have to mean that? After that
mortifying experience, I was sure that my life was some sort of sick joke.
Society claims that our name and our appearance is
what defines our identity. Sex and drugs and alcohol and parties and lies and
cheating and failure and money is what this generation has been slapped in the
face until our lips are crusted over with blood and our eyes are painted black
and blue.
Our generation has become numb to all of our senses.
We are helpless and only have one concern: ourselves. We are unable to sympathize
with the emotions of others. We do not know how to help or support them. We
have forgotten how to be honest and instead fill our mouths with lies and spit
repulsive words into each other’s face.
I want that to stop.
Rid yourself of hate and anger and the desire for
revenge. Replace it with empathy so as to be able to give consolation rather
than misery.
Learn to accept rather than to despise your body along
with your flaws because there will never be another you.
Always respect yourself. Do not bother to poison
your body with drugs and alcohol and profanity and sex. I am not here to tell
you what you can and cannot do with your body- it is your property. But
remember that you can never get another one.
Glorify the successes of others rather than your own
victories. One day you will receive the reward that comes from hard work alone.
No one has bragging rights. Remember that people will see your talents through
your actions and will be deaf to your words.
You will only get what you give. Remain considerate
despite differing personal views and opinions because when will two people ever
think alike? Humans are like snowflakes… each one has its own intricate design.
Have the courage to overcome your fears and to
always follow what you know to be true. Never compromise.
Persevere despite life’s disappoints and know that
there is always a lesson to be learned from your mistakes.
Always speak the truth. Lying only leads to doubt
and anguish.
I am not trying to be different because I already
am. If you feel like a misfit, if you feel like a nobody… know that you are
somebody. Somebody that can change the world for the better.
Society can leave us feeling worthless and religion
and family and friends can attempt to define who we are, but hope always
remains to give us the choice to choose. To choose our own virtues as well as
our own vices.
When you step out into the world, the real
world, and get a taste of its bitterness, remember to always smile. Smile
like a newborn that hasn’t a single clue of what is to come. Because honestly-
you don’t. And besides, smiling never hurt anyone.
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