Sail Away_Entry 1_Week 28

I think that, sometimes, we let the worse of us get the best of us. I know I allow that to happen too often- sometimes it's on a daily basis, and other times it only occurs once in a while. But I don't like when it comes around, because it comes in waves caused by an ocean of emotions and self- hatred. A tsunami of self- inflicted pain and guilt rages inside of me, and oftentimes I am not quite sure how to deal with it... at least in a healthy manner.

I want to be happy, loving, and kind, but I feel that I am incapable of such things because of my eating disorder, my depression, and my self-harm/ suicidal tendencies... even if I have taught myself to get through such things. It is not an impossible feat to accomplish- it is just difficult.

I'm not putting my story out there to receive pity or sympathy- I just want you, me, really anyone- to know that you will be okay. And I am not referring to the kind of "okay" that just magically occurs from doing nothing- you have to do something; you have to have the desire to heal and to persevere through whatever you are going through in order to crawl out of the hole you are in. Once you've hit rock bottom, the only way out is up- we just have to be willing to climb.

We all deal with some form or another of a storm in our life- but I encourage you to never put up the white flag of defeat. The only flag you should ever allow yourself to put up is the sail on your ship that directs you towards safety, and a happy life.

Because, sometimes, we need to know when it is time to sail away.